Fearless in Divergent

I just watched Divergent and as usual there are some insights I can pick from movie. 

In the movie there was a scene where Tris had to pass a simulation test how to overcome his fear. If she were a dauntless she would need to confront the object of her fears. But because she was a divergent she was able to recognise that it was not real and instead of fight against the object of fear she simply shrugg them off. 

I used to have a lot of nightmare too, but after a while I could recognise it was a dream and tried to control the dream or tried to wake up. Not all the times though. 

Same thing in life. There are 2 ways to overcome fear. You could fight the object of fear. Brace your selves. Brave yourselves. Make up your mind. Hardened your heart. Take heart, be strong, be courageus, take bravery. Fight your fears. 

Another way is to take control of your mind and step into the real reality that none of your fear is real. None of it? What?? You may ask, gotta be kidding! The situation is real!

If you step into God's reality and His perfect love and you completely trust Him - there shall be no fear. You will find that the object of fears in life are not real because Someone has already overcome it. 

It's faith. Some would call it insane too. 

And today I just read a fearful news that average people may not have enough to survive in their retirement ages in Singapore, one of the most wealthiest country. 

Fear, fear not? 

Brave yourself? 

Trust Him?

Once upon on Saturday

Today I managed to paint the wall that was previously decorated by Ben. First time and not bad :)

And talking about Ben - today he prayed for a taxi when we were waiting in the bus stop. Miraculously, a taxi straight away appeared as soon as he finished the prayer. But-but-but someone ahead of us stopped the taxi first. Ben protested and shouted, 'Hey, I pray first...!'

I had dinner with family at a food court. There was a seller selling some stuffs like key chain etc approached us. He carried a paper showing his 'license' (or perhaps business registration) and a photo of little girl. He had moved from one table to another and seemed no success. I was prepared to say no as well - or in fact I did. But I caught him saying something in broken English about taking care of his grandmother. 

So, I looked at him. About 40+. Face described his years of hard life. He is local. Arms full of tattoo. Whether he cheated or lied or was honest - I don't know. But I know $10 is not gonna hurt me. 

I bought a touch pen. 

'Do you know how much in the shop?' He asked.

 I shook my head.

 'Twelve dollar,' he said.

 'Anyway I just want to help you.' I said.

 I looked at him and curiously asked him, 'Is it difficult?' 

He was a bit surprised of my questions. And he started pouring out his struggle. I couldn't really capture, but the story flows, he has to take care his grandparent and parents and his 1 year old girl and his wife left him...the conversation stop as 2 girls 'shoo-shoo' him as they need to walk through.

I saw him hopping around the tables. Mostly no success. I regretted, I should have bought more. 

Life is hard. 

I took a cab. The taxi driver politely asked me to show the way as he is new. So naturally I chatted with him on his life story. He said he just started 2 weeks after 5 years working in Thailand. Car is expensive, he said. So he took taxi because he needs the car to take care of his grandma once a week. That makes him difficult to work normal job as well, as he said, nobody wants to employ if he must take leave once a week. He told me he needs to drive about 10 hours to be break even. 

Life is hard, again.

I admire the two men I met. They are filial. It's just that the system makes their life difficult. 

I hope prayer can resolve difficulties and suffering. I do hope. 

Kingdom

Kingdom is about control. The authority is with the King. That means the King has control over his territory. To look upon the  Kingdom of God is to see that He has the control over everything happens in our life. If we trust the King cares for us and He is sovereign in His Kingdom that means we shall care for nothing!

Kingdom means we live and act princely as we are. Just like Jesus, albeit he was born into poor family in Betlehem, all his acts are royal 

About Time and Logotherapy

One of most profound quote from Victor Frankl is this: "Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time."

It is beautifully described in the movie "About Time" in this monolog:

1. Tim Lake: We're all traveling through time, together, everyday of our lives... All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable life.
2. 
   
3. The truth is, I now don't travel back at all, not even for a day. I just try to live everyday as if I have deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it... As if it was the full, final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.

Actually I had Frankl's book for long time, but I can only appreciate when I watch the movie....

Our paradigm defines our meaning of life. The faith and the life itself.

Time Travel

What if you could travel back in time? How would you relive the moment you had in the past?

It would be a very very complicated life. And interesting one.

I suddenly now see the book of Revelation in different light. God is immortal because he is not inside or under time. He is outside time, he is eternal.

This is the big secret, the moment we become His child and born again, we are born again into eternity and become immortal too! We actually have already been outside the time, while still spending the rest of our mortal life inside the time.

Then what is the book of Revelation for?

The book of revelation is a picture, oh a victorious one, about us, in future! Yes, it's in the picture. 

So, it is as if, the life we live now is we come back from the future.

What do we have in future? What do we have in the book of Revelation? Who do we live with in that future? What happen to us in that future?

Imagine if you have (perfect tense here) lived in that kind of future, and you travel back in time to today, how would you live your life?

What would you want for your life today, with that knowledge from future?
How would you want to re-live your today? What would matter to you?

It's gonna be interesting :)

PS: Inspired by "About Time" 

Dedicated to my wife - I love you so much, you are my best moment in life, my most treasure, the reason I am happy to re-live my moments... 
Happy Valentine, Love!

Written from Hong Kong

Eksposisi "One Day More - Les Misérables" - Part I

Dari seluruh rangkaian film-musik Les Miserables, babak lagu ‘One Day More’ ini adalah salah satu yang paling berkesan.

Satu hari lagi. Apakah artinya bagi manusia? Apakah yang esok akan bawa? Babak ‘one day more’ ini mengisahkan pergulatan tiap sosok anak manusia melihat hari esok. Kuatir. Gelisah. Harapan. Takut. Mimpi.

Inilah juga salah satu kekuatan keindahan novel karya Victor Hugo ini, rangkaian cerita yang beralur banyak. Kaya akan kisah hidup manusia dengan masing-masing pergumulan mereka.

VALJEAN

One day more! (Satu hari lagi)

Another day, another destiny.(Hari lain, nasib lain)

This never-ending road to Calvary; (Jalan tak berujung ke Kalvari)

These men who seem to know my crime (Orang-orang ini seperti mengetahui kesalahanku)

Will surely come a second time. (Tentu akan datang lagi)

One day more! (Satu hari lagi)

Satu hari lagi. Bagi Jean Valjean, esok adalah ketidakpastian, setelah sepanjang hidupnya dia ditindas, dikejar-kejar oleh ‘hukum’.

Jean Valjean dipenjara selama 19 tahun karena mencuri sepotong roti. Sekerat roti saja, yang dia curi untuk menyelamatkan nyawa keponakannya yang kelaparan. Setelah dia menyelesaikan masa 19 tahunnya, dia masih harus melapor setiap tahun sampai akhir hayatnya dan membawa stigma surat sebagai narapidana. Sebuah belenggu yang sama saja membunuhnya pelan-pelan.

Apa yang salah? Bukankah hukum memang seperti itu?

Mata ganti mata.. dan hati menjadi batu – demikian lirik lagu yang Valjean nyanyikan.

Valjean berubah karena bertemu dengan seorang bishop di sebuah kapel sederhana. Setelah diusir di mana-mana, sang bishop tua mengajaknya masuk, memberinya makan, dan memberinya tempat tidur. Dini hari, dia mencuri perangkat makan perak dan melarikan diri. Polisi menangkap dan menyeretnya ke hadapan sang bishop. Di luar dugaannya, sang bishop malah menegurnya, “Mengapa kamu pergi terburu-buru sampai kelupaan membawa tempat lilin dari perak ini? Bukankah sudah kukatakan bawa juga ini, sudah lama benda ini diam di sini tak berguna, tentunya lebih berguna di tanganmu.”

Bukankah berbohong itu dosa? Secara hukum agama maupun secara hukum negara, andaikan sang polisi tahu, tentu saja dia akan terjerat masalah.

Sang bishop memberkatinya dan berpesan agar perangkat perak ini dia gunakan untuk berbuat jujur dan bahwa dia telah mempersembahkan Valjean bagi Allah.

Selama hidup, tidak pernah saya bertemu dengan pendeta, pastor, rohaniwan Kristiani yang mau berbuat seperti itu. Maukah seorang pendeta yang mapan, menerima seorang buronan, memberinya makan dan tumpangan? Kemudian ketika keesokan harinya, dia menemukan orang yang ditolongnya tertangkap basah dengan barang berharga yang dicuri dari rumahnya, bukan hanya dia mengampuni, bahkan menambahkan dengan barang berharga terbaiknya dan memberkatinya? Akankah ada orang yang mau mengambil resiko dengan membohongi polisi, untuk seorang manusia yang tidak dikenalnya sama sekali?

Saya tidak pernah bertemu seumur hidup saya dengan rohaniwan seperti itu.

Saya sendiri tidak mampu berbuat seperti itu. Mudah-mudahan suatu saat saya bisa menemukan manusia seperti itu.

Inspektur Javert adalah kebalikan dari sang bishop. Dia percaya bahwa tugasnya untuk menegakkan hukum adalah tugas Illahi. Hukum adalah hukum. Orang yang bersalah pantas dihukum seberat-beratnya. Hukum harus ditegakkan di atas segalanya, dengan pengorbanan apa pun. Di matanya, orang seperti Valjean adalah sampah masyarakat yang tidak punya harapan. ‘Fallen from grace’ – seperti lirik lagunya mengungkapkan. Hukum tidak mengenal belas kasihan. Hukum di atas belas kasihan. Hukum bahkan tidak peduli esensi kebenaran, karena mereka berpikir dia di atas kebenaran.

Bukankah mudah kita lihat di sekeliling kita, orang-orang suci yang melaksanakan tugas, perang, misi Illahi, walaupun itu menindas belas kasihan. Dengan nama hukum atau nama Tuhan atau nama cita-cita atau ideologi atau sesuatu yang mulia, tetapi melupakan belas kasihan dan menyisakan kekejaman. Bukan hanya segerombolan orang, bahkan juga negara. Sebuah negara super power yang selalu mengkritik negara lain akan hak asasi manusia, misalnya – tetapi memiliki kamp penyiksaan yang keji, yang dibangun di luar wilayahnya (untuk mempelintir hukum).

Dalam kerohanian, hidup dalam hukum penuh dengan penghakiman, ketakutan, karena hukum tidak pernah puas. Alas, pendeta lebih senang menggunakan hukum di atas mimbar untuk menekan, menakuti jemaat karena mereka akan lebih mudah dikendalikan untuk kepentingan sang pendeta, atas nama hukum Tuhan.

Bishop Myriel adalah gambaran kasih karunia. Karena yang dikehendakinya adalah belas kasihan dan bukan hukum.

Valjean mendedikasikan hidupnya untuk membesarkan Cosette, putri Fantene, seorang bekas karyawannya yang berusaha dia tolong. Valjean tidak tertarik akan politik, belas kasihannya pada Fantene tulus dan tidak ada romans di antara mereka. Dia tidak memiliki ideologi yang besar dan ‘mulia’ seperti untuk mendirikan negara baru, yang dia lakukan hanyalah belas kasihan yang sederhana.

Dan hukum tidak pernah melepaskannya dan selalu mengejar-ngejar hidupnya.

Itulah saat babak “one day more” mulai. Esok bagi Valjean adalah sederhana. Esok adalah untuk tetap hidup. Hidup yang dijalaninya seperti yang dipesankan oleh sang Bishop, bahwa jiwanya telah dipersembahkan kepada Allah.

On the Cross Road

This is my fish tank that I just set up as a beginner. The theme as the title depicts is 'On the Cross Road'.

Imagine you were standing beneath the tall tree in front of the cross road. Two stony white roads before you. On the left, looks simple, wide and some big roots, waving from far. The other road is winding, with some tentacles-like roots, and welcome by some red lotus and beautiful leaves.

On your left is a submerged garden inviting you to rest. On the right, at the distance you see the mountain-like tall tress inviting you to conquer them.

For the record, the fishes I keep are flame dwarf gouramis, cardinal tetras, otto, shrimps, coolie loach, german blue ram, albino red fin shark, guppy, corydoras, lots of golden algae eaters, some ramshorn snails.

How to fix set language in Word 2007

It's amazing that how can an annoying product with such mistake in simple matters, still become the de facto standard in the word processing arena.

If you use MS Word for English only, then it's fine. But for many people, like me it is irritating if you are typing Bahasa Indonesia using MS Word. It would undermine your human rights, by capitalizing the word "Cuma", because our dear friend, thinks that Cuma is a name of a day, hence needs to be capitalized. And sometimes to my horror, it would auto correct the word "memberi" to "member".

So, put aside about human rights, I also find the way to fix this problem is horrible. Everytime I set the language to Indonesian, it would just automatically set back to English.

Ok, maybe you said, just change the MS Office Tools Language setting to be Indonesian and remove the English at all. Oh yes, but we are bilingual, and we use both languages quite often, I cannot everytime I want to create a document I go to the control panel!

Here is the solution:
1. Create a brand new template: New -> My templates -> Create New
2. Rename that template as Normal_indo.dotm
3. Change the default set language as "Indonesian" and please uncheck the "Detect Language automatically" and check do not check spelling/grammar. Anyway I don't need Bill to check my Indonesian spelling.
4. Save it

The wonderful Microsoft Word, strange enough, at the bottom bar, would still change to English everytime I press Enter. At least I am not annoyed by the auto correct.

The hassle is we have to open the template, if we want to create a non English document.

Lesson from SMRT

People always undermine operation, maintenance and service delivery. It's always more glamorous to flash the P&L, stock price, new deals, party, celebrities, publicity, golf, etc. Operation is taken for granted. The problem is that operation is the foundation. It's what you sell to customers. In the context of SMRT since it serves the public's interest more than share holders, it's even more important. SMRT took operation for granted. The money they used to invest in the retail space, hired dolly dim sum, etc would be more useful if they channel it to operation. Once it blows up, it will cost the high flyers' job.

Brain and Emotion

"I think kamu terlalu mengandalkan brain, and if it does not work, your emotion cant manage it..."



Sepenggal kalimat di atas diucapkan seorang sahabat lewat fb message. Seorang sahabat yang unik, yang saya kenal sejak 20 tahun yang lalu. Baru saja bersua, dan tiba2 saya teringat persamaan dan perbedaan di antara kita. Kita sama2 suka berbalas pantun. Bedanya dia 'cool'. Coolness-nya itu yang membuat dia bisa menarik hati seseorang, demikian.


Menarik nasehat yang dia berikan. Kalau saya terlalu mengandalkan otak, dan sesuatu tidak terjadi seperti yang otak saya harapkan, maka emosi saya tidak dapat mengendalikannya. 


Mengendalikan apa?


Biasanya, orang selalu diminta untuk mengendalikan emosi mereka. Emosi adalah sesuatu yang harus ditekan, dipendam, dikalahkan. Emosi seperti musuh yang harus ditaklukkan.


Menarik sekali, kalau ternyata dia memberikan perspektif yang berbeda. Emosi itu bukan lawan, bukan musuh. Emosi adalah diri kita sendiri. Gantinya berusaha menekan emosi, dan memperlakukannya seperti 'bagian lain' dan musuh - kita seharusnya melihat emosi adalah kekuatan diri kita sendiri.


Kalau otak kita tidak melihat hasil yang diharapkan, kalau suasana dan kejadian tidak seperti yang diharapkan, maka bukan emosi yang harus ditekan - tetapi emosi kitalah yang dapat melihat semua hal dari perspektif yang utuh. Dengan demikian emosi kita dapat mengendalikan suasana, walaupun otak kita melihat hal-hal yang tidak kita harapkan...

The Kingdom of God and Flying Without Wings

Setelah sekian lama menggumuli Matius 6:33, tiba-tiba saya menemukan suatu arti baru dari ayat hebat itu. Carilah dahulu Kerajaan Allah dan Kebenaran-Nya maka semuanya itu akan ditambahkan kepadamu.

Beberapa penafsiran yang populer dan umum misalnya:
1. Yang basic, pokoknya cukup bilang secara high level, bahwa kalau kita beribadah dengan taat, hidup baik2 di hadapan Tuhan, maka Tuhan akan memelihara kita. Tidak ada yang salah dengan ini, cuma untuk orang-orang melan seperti saya, saya tidak pernah yakin dan selalu dihantui keraguan 'apakah saya cukup baik? bagaimana dengan dosa kecil, besar yang disembunyikan di bawah pohon? Apakah server yang down kemarin itu gara2 Tuhan bete dengan saya?

2. Yang lebih prosperity, kira2 begini: Saudara2, berilah untuk Tuhan, perlebar kerajaan Allah, malam hari ini, saat Engkau membuka dompetmu, menulis cek-mu, saat ini juga, aku katakan, tingkap-tingkap langit terbuka, dan kepadamu akan ditambahkan. Ditambahkan, ditambahkan sampai meluap-luap....apa itu yang meluap? emas, perak, saham, bank account, BMW, dll...Tidak ada yang salah juga dengan ini, emang mana bisa saya bilang si ini atau si itu salah :)

Nah, cuma belakangan waktu kebetulan dengar lagu-nya Flying Without Wings dari Westlife, yang jelas2 lagu sekular...teks-nya begini:

[Shane:]
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
[Mark:]
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete
[Shane:]
Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
[Mark:]
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
[Shane:]
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
[Mark:]
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

Hmm.... sepotong lagu dunia untuk menafsirkan ayat suci? Penulis lagu ini cuma bilang kalau lagu ini tentang 'apa yang membuat kita 'complete' '

Tiba-tiba saya melihat perspektif Matius 6:33 dalam cahaya yang lain. Bisakah saya menyanyikan tiap pagi, bahwa yang terutama dalam hidup saya, adalah saat melihat wajah Sang Pencipta Mentari bersinar pada saya setiap pagi, dan bahwa setiap saat saya bisa membisikkan 'Saya mencintai-Mu' dalam degup sukacita yang bergolak?

Bisakah? Itulah yang terutama dan membuat hidup kita utuh, komplit, complete, cukup, penuh, tak kekurangan, sempurna - yaitu kalau kita menyatu dalam Kerajaan Allah itu. Pada saat itu, semua yang lain, they do not matter anymore. Dan itulah artinya kata "ditambahkan" - artinya, yang lain-lain itu bukan lagi yang utama, bukan yang membuat engkau complete, bukan yang membuat engkau bahagia seutuhnya, bukan yang membuat engkau penuh sepenuhnya. Allah tetap akan menyediakan semua itu, makanan, pakaian, rumah - seperti Dia memelihara triliun-an burung- burung yang berkeriapan, seperti Dia mendandani bunga-bunga bakung, dan juga koral-koral di dasar laut serta bunga edelweiss di puncak gunung - dan semua itu cuma tambahan.

Karena kalau kita bisa melihat Mentari itu bersinar tiap pagi menerpa wajah kita, dan kita tenggelam dalam Kerajaan Allah, itu saja yang membuat hidup kita utuh.

Flying Without Wings

I fell asleep and woke up with this Westlife's song.

I am glad I was reminded that we cannot have everything in life. Life is about many choices and what we decides.

Everybody's looking for a something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be.

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place

Life works in a way of balance. If you choose to eat the cake you cannot have it anymore. If you choose to use your time to read newspaper, you will take the time you can use with your spouse. If you reject a friend's request or give in, there is something you either give or take away in the friendship.

If you are worried and restless in life, there are some energy and time you spend instead of enjoying it with your beloved.

The joy to watch the sunrise on God's face, my wife's face is something I want to choose and would make fly without wings.

With that, suddenly I remember something, I email my friend, coz I know what I want to choose and let go to have my life fly without wings.

Connecting the Dots

It is about Steve Jobs. Well he was not a philanthropist, neither ever does he give me a free coffee. I don't know him personally. He did not live next door or in my block.

So, why is this unknown person leaving the world with so muchb respect, including from me?

It is his spirit and legacy. What he did, inspire the world. Proving that we can do it. If we were born poor and needed to collect on 5 cent per Coca Cola can, look at him, he could make it. If we had to drop out of college coz no money, look at him. Follow your heart and do what you love to do.

He is a symbol of courage and freedom.

Something the average people have lost. We would not want to pursue what we love and feel free to do? Why? Coz we got another 20 years of this bloody housing loan. And the education fund for the kids.

So we will keep slogging with anxiety, worry, and restlessness, till we are old and have no energy to chase our dream - in order to ensure we have bread on the table, and a bit of money to buy iPhone :)

Steve, your legacy of courage, freedom spirit, and perseverance - may it still remains.

Something good comes out

Like many of us, I am not perfect. Sometimes we did not achieve what we want. So recently I met up with my ex-client, happened to bumped to him on the escalator.

Very nice person, very godly and wonderful.

And as we chat a little of guilt still creep in inside me.

Then suddenly another lady came approaching us, smiled and shook my hand. "XXXX, right?" she said, to my amazement that she knew my name, while I was trying hard to guess hers.

My ex-client quipped, " We got married because of that CRM project..."

I was stunned really stunned. Speechless.

"At least something good came out of it, right" he smiled.

Yes, I think God is amazing. He can make, create something good out of some circumstances that we deem is not good.

Looking at the context, bigger picture

These days, since I joined a new company for almost a year, I have been learning new things. Not too much in knowledge and hard skills, in fact due to most of the time spent in fire fighting I almost learn none.

But I learn a lot about Emotional Intelligence. I am now still reading Daniel Goleman's book. Also just read a very short book about NLP, and I quite like some of the concepts. For example, putting things in context and defining a state. Last time I used to easily annoyed of office politics, some petty people sent stupid emails, worse cc to everyone, to the bosses. Normally I could feel tired for weeks for those episodes. If not, I would try to stage a revenge.

I now try to look at the context and bigger picture. A sarcastic, knife-sharp cutting emails from colleagues, means absolutely nothing in the ocean of life. The big picture of life's journey, where my wife, kids, parents, and God is in the pictire, looks much bigger and overshadow that kind of incident. The context is that ' as you grow old, you'll realise you could not be too petty over small matters'. The earth grave is not too far away, and we may lose the big picture of God's plan, His thought, His dream about our life, should we are too engrossed in small matters.

If we look at the big picture, things that inject angst in our lifes, like 'fear of losing job', fear of poverty, fear of humiliation - it really does not matter. Life is short, and once you cross over 35, you are more likely to be reminded of the short term rental we have on earth. It is now, that I can understand more, why it was wrong for the Israelites to cry over meats, waters, and other convenience stuffs, when they were marching to the Promised Land, the Holy City of God.

Regret from the Past

I was recently linked again (thanks to Facebook, no matter I tried to undermine FB, some reality knocks) with my ex-kos mate. I had many wonderful memories with him, like we went into baptism together, we used to had the berbalas pantun session at night, and other stuffs, including we always tried to offend and demean each other.

A few hours call in the skype and left me with a empty feeling after that. One of our school mate, decided to abandon his first degree to go to medical school. I remembered him, both of us used to mourn our regret too. But now it's different, he made it up and I am stuck with regret for all my life.

I am not sure if now it still makes sense for me to start all over again with my age. I should have got the guts many years ago.

I used to think my settlement in Singapore was a blessing, maybe not. Maybe it's a liability now. For had I not come here, I would have the possibility to folllow W's path.

I don't know.....

Your Best Life Now

I am reading the book Your Best Life Now, by Joel Oesteen. It is a good book and I recommend it for you to read it.

I once met one of my good friend -whom I always admire of his sharp mind and spirituality - at Coffee Bean Orchard. I brought the book so I could read it along the one hour trip from my home. I would have guessed that he would welcome the book too, on the assumption he stays with a modern charismatic church, where I am now with a traditional conservative laid back church.

I think my belief has been swinging extremely right-left-up-down like roller coaster (of course within boundaries). From a pagan, grew up in mixed belief that Jesus co-exists with deity of other religions, then was born again and shot into radical Christian. Then the ride has been bumpy so far, all kind of theology, or even almost lost my faith ( I mean purpose - not belief)...

I commended the book, however, as I was struggling in my new job. For the first few months I had to recite some of the books' quote of Oesteen, to give me confidence and bravery in my daily work and not to feel down and inferior.

But, my friend's comment did strike me a bit. What is this book for - or whom? What does it mean by "best life"?

I remembered, for example, the other prosperity church that I attend sometimes, teaches that the meaning of God's discipline cannot be poverty, diseases or the lost of beloved. That means we are meant to be healthy, rich, and die in old age - always. God would discpline us in ways, i.e. giving us a troublesome boss, putting us behind a slow car to train our patient, etc. The only catch of this, is that he would have problem of explaining the book of Job, on which his rival whose service is at Expo now has been going deep into this book.

I am contemplating on this and I think the key issue is the defintion of 'best life'?

What does it mean? What is the definition? And who defines it? What does the Bible say? The problem of the Bible - those of you ever sit in Bible School know what I mean - you can interpret almost anything out of your Bible.

We have no doubt - absolutely not - that God wants the best in our life. God wants us to live a good life. (Ok, to be honest, my mentor, an SMU Professor told me: 'No, it is not God's purpose for you to have good life, but to glorify Him' Ok, I didn't buy it. I think it should be both).

Does God really mean that the best life is abundant of money? Perpetual perfect health? Sanity of tragedy? What is the definioin of best life?

I still don't have an answer. But I remembered when I was 14 years old, when I was just born again, neither did I have an answer to this, yet I was overwhelmed with a feeling, belief, emotion, thought that God will take care of everything and I could just rest in peace (not RIP, please). The belief, I could not formulate it into some wordy definition, but I just believed.

I still recommend the book.

One Dawn at Orchard

It was dawn (my definition is just 8 plus) at Orchard, cold after rain morning. What was I doing in Orchard at that hours? It's been a long time I had not been walking around on Orchard in the morning, since I left Bethany.

It started with a couple of SMS-es in one boring Satuday, sent to some friends I had not a chance to meet for some time. One guy picked it up, althought the initial reply was 'Who is this?'.

Okay, it's okay. So since that friend would be around at Orchard in the afternoon after his church related activities, then I met him at Orchard and we spent a very wonderful time of hours chatting from social-faith-hacking. I had called another friend to book his time to meet -yep in Orchard- and planned to watch movie, after the session with him.

Alas, I could not find the movie with the right time, so we had to wait untilk 9 pm. We then had the Indonesian food dinner, I haven't had for some time, at Lucky Plaza. Then I suddenly I remembered, why not pay a visit to my friend who was hospitalised in the nearby hospital.

My friend was supposed to undergo a quick operation, and by now the original plan for him was to go back to work already. Hailed over from Indonesia, hoping for better treatement in Singapore, the doctor accidentally cut his nerves causing him to be immobile. Adding to it, the hospital put him in the wrong ward, and he was infected by his next ward-mate suffering from lung infection. The wardmate died not long after that.

So, now he was immobilized, got lung infection and the nurse was careless that the drug drips, was leaking, adding to the fact that his medication was delayed then. The expensive private hospital added the onus by not having enough paramedics working on the long weekend, so he had to stay longer.

Ok, so I visited him. He was companied by his wife and mother. His wife then asked if I could company his mother at night, which mean I slept at the house she stayed. Ok, I thought, afteralL I was already in Orchard.

Then I left for Mark Zuckerberg's Social Network. Awesome movie, inspiring but mixed feeling. I still don't understand why Facebook can make it. Nothing fancy in technology, and they were not the first mover. Friendster and myspace was already there.

Finished movie, it was late, I ran under the grizzling rain to the house nearby hospital. The house belong to -at one point of time was one of the richest man in Indonesia -. well the family is still rich now, and his name will always be respected.

Could not sleep well. Or should I put it I almost did not sleep. So I woke up in the morning, sending my friend's mother to hospital, walking like zombie to the MRT.

And that explains why I walked in the dawn on Orchard.

Megamind

I like the movie. Another good one to remember.

The world is a stage of judgment and it has no mercy. Megamind is a story to explain why some people behave the way that was badly perceived by others. And the ordinary Mr Nice Guy that is not a publich enemy, not necessarily is a good guy, it's just that he doesn't have a chance, i.e Titan.

I remember long long time ago, when I was young, naive and zealous and tried to shared my faith to a foreigner in a broken English. He told me, that the reason I have my belief is becaue the environment I grew up with. I disagreed, as I grew older I understand what he meant. In the movie, it started about the comment about destiny.

Everybody deserves a second chance, and third, and fourth and so on. Everybody has their past that 'made' them to be like the way they are.

But one day, we'll find our own calling. That's was the advise of Metroman. He has been doing all the good things, but of all the good deeds he has done, is portraited in different perception in the movie. Only that one piece of advise he gave to Megamind, perhaps is the real good deed worth to remember in the movie.

I like the movie. Another one worth to remember.

Everyone will find their calling, everyone deservers the second chance.

The Family Man

One of my most favourite movie is 'The Family Man', starred by Nicolas Cage and Tea Leony. Surprisingly, it was not very successful, it was not even in the mind of many people when it was launched.

For many of the working class people, Wall Street is a dream. A beautiful dream. Penthouse in the centre of Manhattan, you can have all what you want - as Jack Campbell said it 'I've got everything I need'.

I like the appearance of the mysterious angel - and the film purposely left him as just unclear and to our own interpretation. I like the idea of the board and the upper esselon, and his face when he said to the failed store owner 'you blew it...'. And also when finally he reminded Jack of the glimpse.

The movie takes the approach like Victor Frankl's - a psychiatrist who survived the NAZI camp and author of 'In Seach of Meaning'. It asks the question, "What if....?" So the writer asked Jack Campbell: What if you were married? What if you lose all your Wall Street status? What if you could not afford a $2,400 suit? What if you gotta work as a tyre salesman, in contrast the high-flyer of Wall St? What if you gotta save cents by cents, clipping coupons, waiting for another 122 payment to own your house - just like many working class Americans?

But you got your family. You have 2 kids. You have a lovely wife instead of the different women you have every month.

The other way around approach is often used by pshyciatrist also, i.e for a stress mother who cannot take the noise, messy house caused by kids. Ask her a question, imagine that the house is quiet and clean. It is as perfect as you imagine. But you don't have the kids.

Often people start realizing that whatever they have is greater than whatever they don't have.

It is certainly one of the best movie I keep in my heart. The acting of Cage and Leony is excellent. Certain plots perhaps I would tweak were I the writer, but overall is genius! The idea of glimpse, the mysterious angel, and the presentation of Wall St - I like it. The snowy background is wonderful too.

It's just that after watching the movie, I still feel that how nice it is to fly around in Wall St :)