Sunday, November 28, 2010
Your Best Life Now
I once met one of my good friend -whom I always admire of his sharp mind and spirituality - at Coffee Bean Orchard. I brought the book so I could read it along the one hour trip from my home. I would have guessed that he would welcome the book too, on the assumption he stays with a modern charismatic church, where I am now with a traditional conservative laid back church.
I think my belief has been swinging extremely right-left-up-down like roller coaster (of course within boundaries). From a pagan, grew up in mixed belief that Jesus co-exists with deity of other religions, then was born again and shot into radical Christian. Then the ride has been bumpy so far, all kind of theology, or even almost lost my faith ( I mean purpose - not belief)...
I commended the book, however, as I was struggling in my new job. For the first few months I had to recite some of the books' quote of Oesteen, to give me confidence and bravery in my daily work and not to feel down and inferior.
But, my friend's comment did strike me a bit. What is this book for - or whom? What does it mean by "best life"?
I remembered, for example, the other prosperity church that I attend sometimes, teaches that the meaning of God's discipline cannot be poverty, diseases or the lost of beloved. That means we are meant to be healthy, rich, and die in old age - always. God would discpline us in ways, i.e. giving us a troublesome boss, putting us behind a slow car to train our patient, etc. The only catch of this, is that he would have problem of explaining the book of Job, on which his rival whose service is at Expo now has been going deep into this book.
I am contemplating on this and I think the key issue is the defintion of 'best life'?
What does it mean? What is the definition? And who defines it? What does the Bible say? The problem of the Bible - those of you ever sit in Bible School know what I mean - you can interpret almost anything out of your Bible.
We have no doubt - absolutely not - that God wants the best in our life. God wants us to live a good life. (Ok, to be honest, my mentor, an SMU Professor told me: 'No, it is not God's purpose for you to have good life, but to glorify Him' Ok, I didn't buy it. I think it should be both).
Does God really mean that the best life is abundant of money? Perpetual perfect health? Sanity of tragedy? What is the definioin of best life?
I still don't have an answer. But I remembered when I was 14 years old, when I was just born again, neither did I have an answer to this, yet I was overwhelmed with a feeling, belief, emotion, thought that God will take care of everything and I could just rest in peace (not RIP, please). The belief, I could not formulate it into some wordy definition, but I just believed.
I still recommend the book.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
One Dawn at Orchard
It started with a couple of SMS-es in one boring Satuday, sent to some friends I had not a chance to meet for some time. One guy picked it up, althought the initial reply was 'Who is this?'.
Okay, it's okay. So since that friend would be around at Orchard in the afternoon after his church related activities, then I met him at Orchard and we spent a very wonderful time of hours chatting from social-faith-hacking. I had called another friend to book his time to meet -yep in Orchard- and planned to watch movie, after the session with him.
Alas, I could not find the movie with the right time, so we had to wait untilk 9 pm. We then had the Indonesian food dinner, I haven't had for some time, at Lucky Plaza. Then I suddenly I remembered, why not pay a visit to my friend who was hospitalised in the nearby hospital.
My friend was supposed to undergo a quick operation, and by now the original plan for him was to go back to work already. Hailed over from Indonesia, hoping for better treatement in Singapore, the doctor accidentally cut his nerves causing him to be immobile. Adding to it, the hospital put him in the wrong ward, and he was infected by his next ward-mate suffering from lung infection. The wardmate died not long after that.
So, now he was immobilized, got lung infection and the nurse was careless that the drug drips, was leaking, adding to the fact that his medication was delayed then. The expensive private hospital added the onus by not having enough paramedics working on the long weekend, so he had to stay longer.
Ok, so I visited him. He was companied by his wife and mother. His wife then asked if I could company his mother at night, which mean I slept at the house she stayed. Ok, I thought, afteralL I was already in Orchard.
Then I left for Mark Zuckerberg's Social Network. Awesome movie, inspiring but mixed feeling. I still don't understand why Facebook can make it. Nothing fancy in technology, and they were not the first mover. Friendster and myspace was already there.
Finished movie, it was late, I ran under the grizzling rain to the house nearby hospital. The house belong to -at one point of time was one of the richest man in Indonesia -. well the family is still rich now, and his name will always be respected.
Could not sleep well. Or should I put it I almost did not sleep. So I woke up in the morning, sending my friend's mother to hospital, walking like zombie to the MRT.
And that explains why I walked in the dawn on Orchard.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Megamind
The world is a stage of judgment and it has no mercy. Megamind is a story to explain why some people behave the way that was badly perceived by others. And the ordinary Mr Nice Guy that is not a publich enemy, not necessarily is a good guy, it's just that he doesn't have a chance, i.e Titan.
I remember long long time ago, when I was young, naive and zealous and tried to shared my faith to a foreigner in a broken English. He told me, that the reason I have my belief is becaue the environment I grew up with. I disagreed, as I grew older I understand what he meant. In the movie, it started about the comment about destiny.
Everybody deserves a second chance, and third, and fourth and so on. Everybody has their past that 'made' them to be like the way they are.
But one day, we'll find our own calling. That's was the advise of Metroman. He has been doing all the good things, but of all the good deeds he has done, is portraited in different perception in the movie. Only that one piece of advise he gave to Megamind, perhaps is the real good deed worth to remember in the movie.
I like the movie. Another one worth to remember.
Everyone will find their calling, everyone deservers the second chance.
Monday, October 04, 2010
The Family Man
For many of the working class people, Wall Street is a dream. A beautiful dream. Penthouse in the centre of Manhattan, you can have all what you want - as Jack Campbell said it 'I've got everything I need'.
I like the appearance of the mysterious angel - and the film purposely left him as just unclear and to our own interpretation. I like the idea of the board and the upper esselon, and his face when he said to the failed store owner 'you blew it...'. And also when finally he reminded Jack of the glimpse.
The movie takes the approach like Victor Frankl's - a psychiatrist who survived the NAZI camp and author of 'In Seach of Meaning'. It asks the question, "What if....?" So the writer asked Jack Campbell: What if you were married? What if you lose all your Wall Street status? What if you could not afford a $2,400 suit? What if you gotta work as a tyre salesman, in contrast the high-flyer of Wall St? What if you gotta save cents by cents, clipping coupons, waiting for another 122 payment to own your house - just like many working class Americans?
But you got your family. You have 2 kids. You have a lovely wife instead of the different women you have every month.
The other way around approach is often used by pshyciatrist also, i.e for a stress mother who cannot take the noise, messy house caused by kids. Ask her a question, imagine that the house is quiet and clean. It is as perfect as you imagine. But you don't have the kids.
Often people start realizing that whatever they have is greater than whatever they don't have.
It is certainly one of the best movie I keep in my heart. The acting of Cage and Leony is excellent. Certain plots perhaps I would tweak were I the writer, but overall is genius! The idea of glimpse, the mysterious angel, and the presentation of Wall St - I like it. The snowy background is wonderful too.
It's just that after watching the movie, I still feel that how nice it is to fly around in Wall St :)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Farewell
==================
Dear Colleagues,
Tomorrow is my last day in XXXX and I want to say thank you for all your support and kindness you have rendered to me for the last (almost) 6 years. As I close this chapter, it reminds me of the epigraph to the Romance of The Three Kingdoms about the Three Gorges in Yang Tze River. Allow me to quote a piece of poem from Yang Shen, translated by Lee Wei Ling:
Wave on wave the long River rolls away;
Gone are all heroes with its spray on spray
Success or failure, right or wrong, all turn out vain
Only green mountains still remain,
To see the setting suns’s departure.
The white-haired fisherman sail on the stream with ease,
Accustomed to the autumn moon and vernal breeze.
A pot of wine in hand, they talk as they please.
How many things before and after, all melt into gossip and laughter.
Ik wil iedereen op deze manier erg hartelijk danken voor de goede samenwerking in de afgelopen periode, uiteraard wens ik iedereen veel succes binnen XXXX. De God zegent u.
Selamat Tinggal,
===========
So? Foes or allies, all are gone in the spray of River. Gold or sabre, all sink into the River. What do we have but a piece of happiness with a pot of wine when we travel through the Lake and River.
Monday, April 05, 2010
My son's first prayer
Friday, March 12, 2010
Love and better husband
Friday, February 26, 2010
Benny Hinn and the Divine Marriage
I am in no way judging Hinn at all. I don't have the right neither intention to do so. The story of Hinn, is like, he is 'the chosen one' in Harry Potter, or 'the prophecised ones' like the 4 kids in Narnia, he is like Frodo of Lord of the Rings, he is like the King Arthur with the Excalibur.
I am sure, just like many of us, you were shocked of the news. I remember when I was a very young youth, filled with zeal and fire, his book was my favorite, 'Good Morning Holy Spirit'. And one of my most favorite section is the story about how he got married with Suzanne. It was a divine appointment. And still very fresh in my memory, that story to me was an amazing true story-fairy tale. It was more beautiful than any romance fairy tale story I ever know. Hinn met with a senior pastor, and the pastor had a very beautiful young daughter. They met. God told him that she is "the one". And Hinn asked God, if she is the one, please made her tell him, that she would make a cake for him. And God gave him 'the SIGN'. And they lived happily ever after. It was a perfect story. Really.
Oh..for a young teenager melancholy boy, that piece of story is more than everything. I carried it to my university days, all the way till I grew up. Most of very renown pastors in Indonesia would cite this miraculous story too. I dreamed of this too. That one day good Lord will give me the sign, in a beautiful setting and background just like Hinn's.
I don't care when Ted Haggard had sex with a male prostitute and used drugs. I don't bother that Paul Cain drunk in real alcohol and he was really drunk. Not my concernt that Paula and Randy White got divorced. Just laughed when I heard at the big Bethel Sinode Assembly Meeting, the pastors were exchanging pyhsical fists and abusive words for the fight of the Chairman position. Or when many-many mega church pastors messed up church finances.
But Hinn's story with Suzanne is a true fairy tale I used to keep preciously. It was like a dream. God matchmade you and the princess, you are the chosen one, you are so special. I knew then, I would never get Hinn's status, the way he befriended with God and the way God made special ararangement for him for his soul mate. But that story kept inspiring me, it's like the piece of treasure you'd remember with smile.
All I see now it's like the movie 'UP'. The man found out that all his childhood dreams, his super-idol-role model, his dream hanging waterfall....all are vanity and meaningless.... Or perhaps like a boy who used to adore the Santa Claus, felt so happy when he saw his mom kissing Santa Claus, kept singing that 'I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus'...until he grew up to realise that his mom had an affair with that "bloody santa claus".
God did not give me the sign then. I mean, the sign as I wanted it to be. There may be many signs, but not as I wanted. Or if there were any, I did not accept it, I rejected it. I did not have the beautiful fairy tale background and setting like Hinn had. But, all I know that I love my wife. And I know that love is difficult and not an easy word and should not be taken for granted like a sign of star in the sky.
All I know that love is a verb and choice. I choose to love my wife not because of the sign of stardusts in the sky, or the flowers and butterflies formed a heart-shape dance..... I choose to love my wife, regardless of the setting and background.
All I ask from God is not the sign and the beautiful setting. May His love stays in my heart and enables me to keep loving my wife till the end.....
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Wise Words from Elder
Trading appears deceptively easy. When a beginner wins, he feels brilliant and invincible. Then he takes wild risks and loses everything.
Many traders are loners who abandon the certainty of the present and take a leap into the unknown
When I was growing up in the former Soviet Union, children were taught that Stalin was our great leader. Later we found out what a monster he had been, but while he was alive, most people enjoyed following the leader. He freed them from the need to think for themselves.
Emotional reactions are a luxury that you cannot afford in the markets.
People change when they join crowds. They become more credulous and impulsive, anxiously search for a leader, and react to emotions instead of using their intellect. An individual who becomes involved in a group becomes less capable of thinking for himself.
Your human nature prepares you to give up your independence under stress
Friday, February 05, 2010
Vertical Limit, Up
Monday, February 01, 2010
What kind of church (2)
What kind of church..
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Ca'my Language
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Potato in the dry land
Saturday, January 02, 2010
The Joy of Fatherhood
I have been following one pastor's twitter. I emphatized with his struggle as he has an international pop star wife who lives in US with their son. That leaves him with limited time with his 4 years old son. He would share in his twitter his joy of fatherhood when he has that limited time to spend with his son, such as sending him to music school in LA or just carrying him asleep.